Monday, May 26, 2008

Such a beautiful time of year to have a broken heart

It is finally warm and sunny in the neighborhood. Yesterday was the most beautiful day I have ever seen and today is actually warmer but a little cloudy it's supposed to be 80 today though. I have the laundry in the wringer, most of it done and on the line in the sun, the dirty boy jeans are still being beat clean in the wringer. That's the main reason that I use it is because my dh gets soooo dirty and his jeans have ground in dirt, grease, oil you name it's in there and doesn't like to come out.

Dh and I took the grandpunks camping on Sat. We had the popup on our land near Philpott Lake and we stayed there for the first time since we bought the land. It could possibly be our last time too!!! The punks were great, so well behaved and had a lot of fun too. We decided that all Leslie needed to do when Colton and Emma were fussing that they were bored was to give them some paper and sticks and matches and a container such as a fire ring to play in. I have never seen kids spend so much time playing in the fire!! Dh was OK but was really NO help and admitted it!!!

Berk and Brenda, dh's sister and her husband who live about 7 miles away from there came over and ate with us that evening. That was as always a lot of fun.

The reason that we may not EVER go back camping was not the human company that we kept but the canine variety. We had a dog barking the ENTIRE night and he had about at least 20 friends that stretched out for 3 counties and they sang all night long!!!

I really missed by bed and my fan that is in the bedroom for nights like that. I had a fan but we did not have any power except from a battery for the inside lights in the camper. We did finally use the furnace to drown out the sound so we could get a couple hours sleep.

My heart is breaking in two right now. I have made my dd so mad at me and she won't talk to me. We had a discussion and she took some of the things that I said and turned them into something that I did not say. I love her so much and only want her to be happy. If it is without me in her life I will have to suck it up and deal with it. However I pray that is not what she wants. If I do get her back in my life again I will vow to never ever say anything about what goes on in her life. I did just that for her entire grownup life not stepping in and saying what I was feeling and she knows that. I felt this time that she was asking for my opinion and I gave it to her and I should have kept my mouth shut. It is hard to be quiet when your shoulder is being cried on so often and your heart breaks with each and every tear. All of you Mothers out there know what I mean. We always want our children just to be safe and happy.

Better go and get the threads out of the machine now!!!


River57 said...

I understand your pain. I've got 2 adult children and bite my tongue till it bleeds. Still sometimes you just have to speak up and say your piece and let things work themselves out. Sometimes all we can do is keep the door open and be patient.

Sage said...

Well, girls..I guess I'm in this boat with ya! Gawd, it is so hard to keep the mouth shut though. I always try to tell myself..she will not learn from your advise ..only from her own experience. (ZIP THE LIPS) ..sometimes it works..sometimes I stick my foot in. ARGHHH!! Who's rowing next?