Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I am killing my husband...........

one little meal at a time.
That's what he told me last night after I held that gun to his head and made him eat a HUGE plate of slow cooker pork loin and gravy.
I MADE him go back
more times.
I made him say to me
"this is the best stuff I have ever ate"
then I MADE him eat pie!
Then while he was laying back on his chaise lounge,
watching TV,
with a big belly bulge...that was putting it nicely my friends......
He had the nerve
to look over at me
and say
that I was killing him by the way I cooked.
I said "Oh yeah, maybe I shouldn't have held that gun to your head."
"Maybe you should start practicing a little portion control?"
"Huh?....just maybe that would be the issue?"
He said "NO, that's not it."
"You just have to cook only a little bitty bit for both of us, so I can't go back for seconds."
(or thirds or fourths)
So there goes my ideas down the drain of cooking enough to last for a couple days. The plan was to have several meals including lunch for me here during the day.
Now I am going to go and burn all my cookbooks and feed him a playing card size piece of grilled chicken breast and a broccoli stick tonight!
He comes in from work so hungry that he will not remember telling me this......I know it was his overly stretched belly doing the talking last night.......but he better think about those words for a while!! Be careful what you ask for!!
I am also going to hide the remote so he will hit the treadmill tonight!!
There will be no more
"Becky what you cooking today?"
"Honey what's for supper?"
"Hey I was thinking about an ice cream cone!"
Nope no more of that.....he will get what he wants and that's rabbit food!
This is coming after he had to go up a pants size in his jeans last week....but that's all my fault.
He does have familial hyperlipidemia..high cholesterol and lipids. He was on medication for this and it was working wonders but they wanted it even lower so they doubled it up. Danny immediately couldn't sleep at night because of shoulder and arm pain.
Crying like a child with pain.
He took himself off of it because Dr Danny knows these things.
Said he had to die of something and he couldn't stand the pain.
Now he can't eat anything that he wants.
I will try my best to help him with this one.
I just love to cook!
Better yet I love to eat!!!
Please wish us luck on this one!!!


Fonville Farm said...

fix him a smaller plate, then put you some out for lunch and then freeze the rest!

basketsbyrose said...

I'm married to his twin brother!!! LOL!!!

Kim said...

Wait! Maybe he came from a set of triplets!! That sounds like my DH for's always my fault. Yeah, sure, I'm the one sticking that fork in your mouth buddy!!!

Leslie said...

Too funny. Travis is the same way. He always plans what he wants to eat days ahead of time and then when I fix a big meal he's mad because he ate too much. I'm not forcing him to eat it or to finish the leftovers off in the middle of the night but I'm the reason why he can't get six pack abs!

Their lucky they have wives that actually cook these days!!!

OurCrazyFarm said...

You know I just saw a TV gal making grilled tofu with pesto on top~ might be just the recipe you're looking for! It would go along with that broccoli stick. Green always scares 'em!